I've neglected this for far too long and I really regret doing so.
I don't care if nobody reads this. I don't care if I never become famous for my thoughts.
Simply because they are my thoughts, not anything vitally important to life or survival.
But this new experience in life has already been so hectic.
I still don't know what to do with myself half the time. I constantly find myself fighting the urge to go back home, to where I'm comfortable and at peace.
I. hate. this. change.
With the passion of a thousand suns. I hate how people have changed, how I've changed,
how the people are, how I'm not surrounded by my friends, how I'm not working, the stress,
the work, the teachers. Maybe I'll get over it. Or not. We'll see.
I do like having the independence, but it also comes with it's downsides and it's definitely taking a lot of getting used to for me.
By the way I like to randomly skip lines for no apparent reason at
all.
Deal with it.
I said it. Deal.
On that note, I've had a lot of fun at college so far, but it's just so insanely different,
this completely different world. So foreign. Change is definitely inevitable, but it's something
that not all of us accept so willingly but rather begrudgingly cope with simply because there is no other option for us to choose. And so I'm adjusting, and changing, hopefully into a mature, hard working adult. I just don't want to waste 4 years and $80,000 dollars for nothing. For a piece of paper that'll end up meaning nothing if I don't do something with it.
I think I'm actually terrified. This drastic leap in my life and its vast potential to lead me to somewhere where I have no clue who is who or what is what. But at the same time it offers me so many new great opportunities that I can't just pass it up without at least checking it out. We'll see how this goes and I'll actually try to keep y'all posted.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
My Life as an Honors/AP Student
So life as a student in both Honors and AP classes has taught me one big lesson in life:
It's. boring. as. hell.
Somethings gotta fill that gap of time where I'm supposed to be paying attention to all this information that isn't practical in anything but the most ideal of situations. So the biggest daydreamers are often the smartest kids you'll meet, and it's all because we take classes that teach us way more than we'll ever need.
So begins the tale of what is actually done in any advanced class.
50% pay attention all class, get confused, and try to be better students.
30% pay anywhere from some to no attention, know a decent amount, and are eh students.
10% pay a good bit of attention, know alot, and are great students.
8% of the class pays attention all class, knows everything, and are the perfect students.
1% pay no attention, doodle and talk all class, know everything, and piss the teacher off.
Yes, that's only 99%. No I don't know what happened to that 1%, deal.
You're talking to part of that 1% that talks and doodles.
Just the other day I was passing a note with Tiffany, the other part of that 1%.
We were discussing blonde jokes, when I drew a rather sophisticated, furry creature.
His name was Sir Walter Hippopotamus Waffles Cactus Ninnymuggins Ralph Banjo Kazioo IV.
She retorted with his devishly suave half-brother Sir Charles Panchito Wolfpack Consuela Macencheez Stigmatism Paco Archibald Whitman III.
I'll have pictures later.
We then began to discuss their lives. and my nephew.
no it doesn't make sense. once again, deal.
I remember one day, while sitting in calculus, I remembered Tiffany saying that cupcakes are the drag queens of the muffin world. So i proceeded to illustrate this too. I cannot show you this drawing tho, because Tiffany kept it after an attack of laughter upon seeing it. Needless to say, she fuels my boredom when I'm in these classes. These percentages apply to all honors classes, don't be fooled. We're glorified daydreamers. Honored slackers. Praised procrastinators.
And ya know, I'm kinda glad to be one of these people.
It's. boring. as. hell.
Somethings gotta fill that gap of time where I'm supposed to be paying attention to all this information that isn't practical in anything but the most ideal of situations. So the biggest daydreamers are often the smartest kids you'll meet, and it's all because we take classes that teach us way more than we'll ever need.
So begins the tale of what is actually done in any advanced class.
50% pay attention all class, get confused, and try to be better students.
30% pay anywhere from some to no attention, know a decent amount, and are eh students.
10% pay a good bit of attention, know alot, and are great students.
8% of the class pays attention all class, knows everything, and are the perfect students.
1% pay no attention, doodle and talk all class, know everything, and piss the teacher off.
Yes, that's only 99%. No I don't know what happened to that 1%, deal.
You're talking to part of that 1% that talks and doodles.
Just the other day I was passing a note with Tiffany, the other part of that 1%.
We were discussing blonde jokes, when I drew a rather sophisticated, furry creature.
His name was Sir Walter Hippopotamus Waffles Cactus Ninnymuggins Ralph Banjo Kazioo IV.
She retorted with his devishly suave half-brother Sir Charles Panchito Wolfpack Consuela Macencheez Stigmatism Paco Archibald Whitman III.
I'll have pictures later.
We then began to discuss their lives. and my nephew.
no it doesn't make sense. once again, deal.
I remember one day, while sitting in calculus, I remembered Tiffany saying that cupcakes are the drag queens of the muffin world. So i proceeded to illustrate this too. I cannot show you this drawing tho, because Tiffany kept it after an attack of laughter upon seeing it. Needless to say, she fuels my boredom when I'm in these classes. These percentages apply to all honors classes, don't be fooled. We're glorified daydreamers. Honored slackers. Praised procrastinators.
And ya know, I'm kinda glad to be one of these people.
Monday, January 24, 2011
O' Brother, Where Art Thou?
Brother. Twin. Bestfriend. Worst enemy.
How all these things can relate to this same person baffles me. I spend all day dealing with this one being who's been in my life since conception. My friend for the longest time, the cause of the majority of my grief, the person who knows me the best, who makes me the angriest, who says the most hurtful things, who cracks the most hilarious jokes, who makes the most insulting comments, this same person who both hurts my feelings constantly and yet constantly reassures me when I'm being doubtful. He constantly insinuates hurtful things about my sexuality, imposes what he deems to be okay upon me, I'm the target of his incessant anger, I reassure him constantly, am his constant aide when he has problems, the person he tells the best jokes to, the person who constantly has my back. He is frustrating and infuriating and annoying and I love him even tho I rarely muster the courage or willingness to admit so. I don't know how life would've turned out for me if it wasn't for him and while I constantly complain almost everything he does, he really has affected my life in everyway possible. He's been in my school classes ever since we were old enough to be in class, I've never been seperated from him for more than a few days, and I have no clue what I'm going to do when we both head off to college. We grew up together, we go to school together, we even work together, no matter what we've always been together, and it's weird imagining the fact that we'll actually be seperated for a good long while. I'm excited to see how life changes how we interact as we both grow older and the amount of interaction we get changes. They say that siblings often get along better when they don't deal with each other all day, everyday, and I cannot wait to see if it's true. While I miss having a best friend, I'd prefer to have a brother, so hopefully life turns out well.
How all these things can relate to this same person baffles me. I spend all day dealing with this one being who's been in my life since conception. My friend for the longest time, the cause of the majority of my grief, the person who knows me the best, who makes me the angriest, who says the most hurtful things, who cracks the most hilarious jokes, who makes the most insulting comments, this same person who both hurts my feelings constantly and yet constantly reassures me when I'm being doubtful. He constantly insinuates hurtful things about my sexuality, imposes what he deems to be okay upon me, I'm the target of his incessant anger, I reassure him constantly, am his constant aide when he has problems, the person he tells the best jokes to, the person who constantly has my back. He is frustrating and infuriating and annoying and I love him even tho I rarely muster the courage or willingness to admit so. I don't know how life would've turned out for me if it wasn't for him and while I constantly complain almost everything he does, he really has affected my life in everyway possible. He's been in my school classes ever since we were old enough to be in class, I've never been seperated from him for more than a few days, and I have no clue what I'm going to do when we both head off to college. We grew up together, we go to school together, we even work together, no matter what we've always been together, and it's weird imagining the fact that we'll actually be seperated for a good long while. I'm excited to see how life changes how we interact as we both grow older and the amount of interaction we get changes. They say that siblings often get along better when they don't deal with each other all day, everyday, and I cannot wait to see if it's true. While I miss having a best friend, I'd prefer to have a brother, so hopefully life turns out well.
My Friends. My Life.
If it weren't for the people that've been in my life, I don't know how exactly I would define my life.
I define myself by the people I've been surrounded by, and I'm quite literally the byproduct of what I grew up around. My temper is my father. My wit my mother. My humor my entire crazy family. My trust is my small town heritage. My randomness/quirkiness is Tiffany. My smile is my love for them showing outwardly. While I'm a very independant person, and can stand very strong on my own, I'm completely unable to be alone. My main connection to the people I care about is how I impact their lives personally. I've got no life without my friends. I'm known for doling out advice left and right, being empathetic, and being blunt. I've got no time to lie for the sake of not hurting a friend when often people just want to hear the truth, often because they aren't willing to admit to it themselves. Saying it like it is is a specialty of mine, and I appreciate the people who can do the same. Concepts are my strength, and I can relate to almost any kind of situation or event. My ability to care for others is vast and limited in scope. So if you do fall into that category, then feel special because you're guarenteed to enjoy a very unique and odd experience.
I define myself by the people I've been surrounded by, and I'm quite literally the byproduct of what I grew up around. My temper is my father. My wit my mother. My humor my entire crazy family. My trust is my small town heritage. My randomness/quirkiness is Tiffany. My smile is my love for them showing outwardly. While I'm a very independant person, and can stand very strong on my own, I'm completely unable to be alone. My main connection to the people I care about is how I impact their lives personally. I've got no life without my friends. I'm known for doling out advice left and right, being empathetic, and being blunt. I've got no time to lie for the sake of not hurting a friend when often people just want to hear the truth, often because they aren't willing to admit to it themselves. Saying it like it is is a specialty of mine, and I appreciate the people who can do the same. Concepts are my strength, and I can relate to almost any kind of situation or event. My ability to care for others is vast and limited in scope. So if you do fall into that category, then feel special because you're guarenteed to enjoy a very unique and odd experience.
Just Some Ranting.
I'm 17, I'm a high school senior, I'm accepted to college, and life is scary as hell right now.
I hate having this stress. And my thought process is driven to practical insanity from it.
I however would not change this for the world and I have yet to quit enjoying any single bit of it.
Between friends, family, and school I'm always doing something that has me going nuts trying to figure out what to do. Life's a beach and I'm just playing in the sand, as Weezy says.
My life is defined by the random moments in which I bring tears to the people I love's eyes. It's brightened by every hug and every kiss I get from my little baby nephew. It shines in everyday I help brighten, and wisened by every little bit of advice and wisdom I give out that is helpful. It's defined by the lessons learned in failure, and the modesty in success. Overall, my life is pretty complete and I wouldn't change a single thing. however cliche that makes it out to be. So I've got a few issues here and there, a temper, some sensitivity things, and a predisposition to yelling, but hey we've all got some loose screws, now don't we?
I hate having this stress. And my thought process is driven to practical insanity from it.
I however would not change this for the world and I have yet to quit enjoying any single bit of it.
Between friends, family, and school I'm always doing something that has me going nuts trying to figure out what to do. Life's a beach and I'm just playing in the sand, as Weezy says.
My life is defined by the random moments in which I bring tears to the people I love's eyes. It's brightened by every hug and every kiss I get from my little baby nephew. It shines in everyday I help brighten, and wisened by every little bit of advice and wisdom I give out that is helpful. It's defined by the lessons learned in failure, and the modesty in success. Overall, my life is pretty complete and I wouldn't change a single thing. however cliche that makes it out to be. So I've got a few issues here and there, a temper, some sensitivity things, and a predisposition to yelling, but hey we've all got some loose screws, now don't we?
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